Nappily Ever After Review (2018) – An uplifting and wonderful story about heartbreak, embracing self-love and self-discovery!

With this month’s theme being growth, healing, renewal, etc. We decided to review one of our all-time favorite movies about personal growth! Nappily Ever After! We adore this movie. It is one we have rewatched many times, and we will continue to do so. This movie is so delightful, while at the same time having some extremely solid and relatable life lessons within.

We do want to put a small trigger warning here, there is parental abuse, specifically that of Violet’s mother, and while it is not the most triggering film out there, we do want to give you guys a heads up!

We will do everything we can to not give too many spoilers in this review but there are likely to be some, so please take that into consideration and read cautiously.

Our film begins with an absolute banger of an intro, we love the music and the animation is incredibly cute!

We see our main character, little Violet (Gabrielle Manning), at a company pool party for her dad’s (Ernie Hudson) workplace. Adult Violet (Sanaa Lathan), voices over the scene, describing how she could not participate in the party because she is considered to be a reflection of her mother and had to be “perfect” at all times.

This is obviously not a very fun life for a child, so Violet is easily goaded into jumping into the pool despite the fact that it would ruin her perfectly straightened hair. Violet’s hair is very important to her mother (Lynn Whitfield). Her mother spends a lot of time “fixing” her hair so she can look “perfect.”

She does comment on the white children being allowed to do whatever they wished…this is not something that we potatoes experienced as children (not at all…) but we understand that this is Violet’s observation.

Violet jumps into the pool and her naturally super curly hair does what it wants to do, which is curl. It becomes a bunch of tight curls and the child that had goaded her into jumping into the pool calls her a “chia pet.”

We here personally feel that the child that called her a Chia pet should be the one that had to leave the party for their crappy behavior…but no. We see Violet’s mother getting angry with Violet because she no longer looks “perfect.”

Then we cut to the first part of the film called “Straightened”. Violet is an adult now and she is awakened from her slumber by an alarm on her phone. She sneaks out of bed and immediately goes into the bathroom to brush her hair.

While she is brushing her hair she receives a text from her mom…she is at her front door! She lets her mom in and asks her mom what she is doing there at 5 am!?

Her mom claims that she could not, not be there because it is “such a special day!” Mom asks “Where is it? Where is it?”

Violet in her own excitement, carefully walks to a closet door, pulls out a man’s jacket and pulls a small, blue, gift wrapped box out of it.

They both quietly squeal about it for a brief moment before she carefully puts it back and closes the closet door.

We cut to Mom straightening Violet’s hair, while this is happening they talk about life a little bit. We learn that her father has recently left Mom in order to pursue his dream of being a male model, and that Violet herself has covertly planned her own birthday/engagement party via her secretary.

Anytime her boyfriend, Clint (Ricky Whittle), would need advice he would call her secretary and she would give the secretary instructions. So, he’s “planned” a party…but not really.

After applying her makeup, Violet sneaks back to bed with Clint and pretends that she “woke up like this.” They proceed to have an intimate moment, during this time he keeps trying to touch her hair which she will not allow him to do.

The hair must be perfect. Everything must be perfect.

She makes Clint an elaborate breakfast, and Clint talks about his excellent career as a doctor. Clint comes across as a rather arrogant individual…who is very into himself. He literally says, “In two weeks, you are going to be looking at the hottest doctor in town.”

This gave us the ick a little bit. We love confidence…but Clint does not come off as confident so much as he comes across as a little bit douchey.

Clint leaves to go to work and next we cut to a business center of some kind. We see Violet strutting through a courtyard to get to her building. She is wearing a gorgeous pink dress, and flipping her long, straight hair. This is her day and she is feeling good!

She greets her awesome secretary and immediately asks about the weather for that day. She is concerned about her hair getting ruined by rain if she has lunch with her girlfriends on a patio. The weather should hold! So everything should still be perfect.

Cut to her in a marketing meeting with her boss. She is showcasing her marketing strategy for a lipstick brand. It is inherently misogynistic and pushes the rhetoric that women have to be pressured into feeling perfect in order to buy the lipstick.

We feel for Violet, it is not necessarily her fault that she is perpetuating this message. It is a message that she has internalized from her mom and it has steeped in her subconscious for a long time. We do not love the messaging…but we understand why Violet is pushing it.

Her boss, who is a man, of course loves her pitch. The only other woman in the room, says “So wait, if I’m not 90 pounds, with injected lips, I don’t get a hot guy to ask me out?”

The men in the room proceed to make fun of her…but we felt she made some damn good points! No you do not have to weigh 90 pounds, have injected lips, or wear bright red lipstick to get a date if a date is what you are looking for.

We then move to her outdoor lunch with her two friends, Natasha (Brittany S. Hall) and Wendy (Camille Guaty). Violet is fixated on the weather, “does that look like a rain cloud to you?” Her friends ignore her and discuss her work, they feel that she is not being challenged enough at her work. They want to see Violet try something different!

Violet brushes them off. She is convinced that Clint is going to propose at her birthday party and she wants to focus on that.

They wrap up their lunch date and are heading back to their vehicles when they pass a couple of children playing with a garden hose.

Violet pauses to admire the cuteness of the children…and the predictable happens. They spray her with the garden hose!

She panics because her straight hair has been ruined! She calls her mom and cannot get through to her. Her friend manages to get her a spot at her Salon very last minute!

At the salon she meets a spicy little girl named Zoe (Daria Johns), who speaks her mind! Annoyed, Violet shuts Zoe down, which frustrates and angers the little girl.

We see Violet later allowing her conditioner to set but something is off…for some reason the conditioner is painful? Confused and a little frantic Violet insists on being rinsed. Turns out the “conditioner” was not conditioner at all…it was relaxer! And now clumps of her hair are falling out!

Violet screams, “OH MY GOD!!” As she pulls on her hair and chunks are coming off! The owner of the salon, Will (Lyriq Bent), rushes over! Turns out Zoe is his daughter…and she was the one that gave relaxer to Violet’s stylist instead of conditioner.

Violet is frantic, furious and losing her shit. She blames Zoe! Understandable, but Zoe is just a child. Children are still learning and often struggle with regulating their emotions. But we digress!

Violet yells at Will, “You can think whatever you want about me right now, but in a few hours my man will be proposing to me! So I suggest you go to one of those thousand hair supplies on this block, and buy me the best hair money can buy and figure out a way to attach it to my head!!”

Next we see Violet at her birthday party! She is wearing an exceptionally natural looking straightened weave. It is a bit lighter in color than her natural hair but it is incredibly close to what her natural hair looks like so no one at the party notices.

Not even her boyfriend! Which is the point, but we still found that odd. Maybe your boyfriend should notice these things?

Clint stands up and toasts Violet! He discusses how beautiful, and perfect she is…and how he has been thinking about family. He then hands Violet the small blue box that we saw at the start of the film.

Thrilled Violet opens it, to find…a silver chain like bangle with a heart on it…confused she looks at Clint and he brings in a bigger box! Inside the bigger box is an adorable little Chihuahua named Lola! The silver chain is a pretty collar for Lola!

We love Lola!! She is so cute!!

Violet holds Lola looking very crestfallen and confused. She goes to the bathroom with her friends and her mom… “A dog? He got me a dog…What’s wrong with me?”

 Her mother responds calmly, but curtly, “There’s nothing wrong with you. Clint didn’t propose tonight, but he will. Soon. Now freshen up, pick up that mutt, and go back out there with a smile on your face.”

Violet returns to the party doing her best to pretend that nothing is wrong. Suppressing her feelings like she always does…and like her mother has taught her to.

She and Clint get home from the party with Lola and Violet can no longer keep up pretenses. She and Clint start to argue a bit. “I want a husband! Not a boyfriend! And a child, not a Chihuahua!” Violet states.

Clint has a lot to say here, but we will condense it a bit. Essentially Clint feels like he does not even know Violet because she always has to be “perfect.” “24/7 perfection is…it’s like being on a two year first date!”

We feel that Clint was a bit harsh here, but at the same time…he’s not completely wrong. Violet seems to be very disconnected from her true self. She always has to behave, look, and be perceived as perfect. Which is not only unhealthy, it is also a solid way to set one’s self up for failure…we are all human and none of us can be perfect all the time.

Perfection is not feasible at all and that is OK. Mistakes happen and are part of life. Failure is part of life. Our imperfections are part of us and make us uniquely human. While we should all strive to better ourselves and to grow as individuals, it does not mean that we should always be reaching for perfection because that is truly an impossible bar to hit.

Her mother has set Violet up to be an inauthentic, perfectionist, overachiever, with a codependent and enmeshed relationship with her mother. We mean this with so much love because it is not Violet’s fault that she struggles with these things and these things do not make her a bad person in any way.

We feel for Violet deeply as we potatoes have fallen, and on occasion still do fall into this habit of needing everything to be perfect, needing to be perfect ourselves, etc.…failure and imperfection is not an option!

It is an EXHAUSTING way to live and it truly does not serve you. We do not recommend it at all and we have a lot of compassion and empathy for Violet.

Violet breaks up with Clint, and he leaves. Thankfully, he leaves the sweet little Lola with Violet. We feel like Violet traded up! Clint may be gone but now she has a far more loving and adorable companion! Way better than Clint!

But of course Violet is deeply upset, extremely unsure, and feels like her world has been completely shaken. She had a plan for her life and it hinged on Clint. Now she is feeling more lost than ever and she struggles to get back to knowing and being her true authentic self.

We love this movie! It is one we have re-watched numerous times. We adore the message! We love watching Violet put some reasonable distance between herself and her mother, and really get in touch with who she is! We love her dad! He is so supportive and awesome!

The movie revolves very heavily around hair, and Violet’s hair changes a lot throughout the movie. It is a bit on the nose, but we really like the visual representation of her growth as a person. We love watching her become more at home within herself, and her hair!

She has great hair! We personally found her natural hair to be absolutely stunning and we are a little jealous that our hair is not half as cute!

This is a movie that will leave you feeling incredibly warm, happy, and touched. Violet’s journey is so relatable and it is a wonderful reminder for all of us that the constant pursuit of “perfection” is exhausting and dehumanizing.

If you are someone who loves heartwarming, enriching, predictable, but super cute films, then this picture is for you! We highly recommend it!!

We give this movie…5 mimosas out of 5!

Nappily Ever After Drinking Game

Take a sip anytime:

1. Anyone straightens their hair

2. Anyone says "Hair"

3. Violet changes her hair

4. Violet’s mom is obnoxious

5. Anyone says "Perfect"

6. Violet’s mom oversteps

7. Clint is an idiot

8. Violet is weird about her hair

9. Violet prostrates herself or ignores her own needs

10. Zoe is sassy or misbehaves

11. Violet’s dad is sweet

12. Violet’s friends are supportive

13. Violet isn't true to herself

14. Will is patient or kind

What did you think?? Did you like the movie? Did you hate it!? Do you have suggestions for films we should consider?! Let us know here in the comments and always remember to be safe and drink responsibly!