Muppet Treasure Island Review (1996) – A wonderful, nostalgic, stomach achingly hilarious film that is an absolute MUST SEE no matter your age!

Happy Pride! We definitely want to honor Pride as well as the summer solstice so we will be focusing on both of those themes this month! We here are big supporters and safe potatoes for LGBTQ+ individuals! We hope our writing this month brings lots of smiles to you, our awesome readers!

We’re kicking the month off with one of our most beloved movies ever: “Muppet Treasure Island”! This movie combines our beloved Muppet characters with the classic tale of Robert Louis Stevenson's "Treasure Island." We always have the greatest time when we re-watch this movie. The humor is still so strong, the Muppet’s are adorable, all of the acting is incredible and we have to give a special shout out to the most amazing Long John Silver to ever grace the silver screen: Tim Curry!

This is a sidesplitting, and child friendly film. There is some death and violence, but it is extremely tame compared to other pirate films in existence. Just a heads up!

This film is amazing, the acting is superb and the writing is very funny. It laughs at itself and overall, the film still holds up to this day! Without further ado let’s begin!

The picture starts strongly with an intense looking sunset over the ocean and epic music playing in the background. The camera moves back to reveal some rocky out crops on, what appears to be, an island!

As the camera pans about the island, we get a voice over by the pirate captain Flint’s first mate. He is discussing the horde of treasure that Flint hid on this special island. Next we get our very first musical number and it is awesome.

Just a side note…We love Bill Connolly’s voice! He is always so fun to listen to!

The music throughout this entire film is amazing. It’s funny, entertaining, catchy, and just a blast to sing along to! “Dead men tell no tales!”

Once the musical number has finished up, we hear the voice of Flint’s first mate wrapping up the introduction as the camera fades to a fire burning in a fireplace. We pan up from the fire to the face behind the voice over, Billy Bones (Bill Connolly), as he continues to tell his story to the rest of the patrons in the tavern where our new scene is taking place.

Apparently, Flint died before he could share the location of the treasure with the rest of his crew…and the small crew that helped him bury it…well, in true pirate fashion, Flint killed them!

No one knows where the map is located…“Now isn’t that a story worth the hearing?” Bones says.

The tavern patrons are unimpressed. They have heard this story many times whenever Billy Bones is in his cups.

Billy turns to and teases our main character, a tavern boy named Jim Hawkins (Kevin Bishop), “Beware the one legged man! He’s the one to fear!”

Jim really doesn’t take Billy seriously. He teases the older man right back and has a few laughs with his fellow tavern boys, Gonzo the Great (Dave Goelz) and Rizzo the Rat (Steve Whitmire).

Billy Bones is adamant that the one legged man is dangerous! As he is telling them more about this, a woman named Mrs. Bluveridge (Jennifer Saunders) walks into the room carrying a large barrel yelling, “Time!” She is the owner of this establishment and “Time!” means it is closing time. Time for any patrons who are not paying for a room to go home!

She closes the front door to the tavern behind the last patron. She turns around and gruffly lets the boys know that there is food for them in the kitchen, assigns nightly chores, and goes to bed.

We are simplifying the scene here a bit, but Mrs. Bluveridge is super funny, and we love her character! She is a brusque, caring, badass, who also happens to be hilarious!

Next we see the boys, Jim, Gonzo, and Rizzo, blowing out the outdoor lantern and talking about their dreams. We have another sweet little musical number, not as fun as the first, but very cute.

We learn that Jim is an orphan who longs for adventure, and a completely different life. He wants to be an explorer and sail the seas like his father did!

Suddenly and rudely interrupting Jim’s song, Billy Bones is back downstairs screaming for rum! He is having a violent outburst and is swinging his saber around. From upstairs, we hear Mrs. Bluveridge yell “Don’t be giving him anymore rum!”

There is an ominous knock at the tavern door. Jim nervously opens it and a strange creature with patches over both eyes named Blind Pew announces himself to Billy Bones! He is there to give Billy Bones a message…the message is the BLACK SPOT! Blind Pew then leaves…with the promise that he will be back!

Shaking, Billy stares at the black spot and shrieks! He bolts upstairs and starts packing his sea chest (old time luggage). We learn here that the black spot is a death sentence! It means that the pirates Billy wronged are coming after him, and that they are not far behind him either!

Suddenly, Billy appears to have a heart attack, or some other medical emergency and keels over onto the bed. He tells Jim about the map that he stole from Flint and expresses that he wants Jim to take the map and leave. Billy will be damned if Blind Pew or the one legged man gets it!

Jim finds the map in Billy’s sea chest and Billy dies dramatically afterwards. Horrified, Jim, Gonzo and Rizzo run out of Billy’s room down to the tavern area…only to find pirates breaking in!

Panicking, Jim runs to Mrs. Bluveridge’s room. She wakes up and let’s Jim into the room while Gonzo and Rizzo are trying to figure out how to use a gun in the back room of the tavern downstairs. Cutting back to Mrs. Bluveridge’s room, the pirates are banging on the door!

Mrs. Bluveridge tells Jim to take the back stairs which can be accessed through a side door in her room. She tells him to “Run!” as she turns around to the door being blasted open. Being the awesome person she is, she starts kicking Muppet pirate ass!

Gonzo and Rizzo are discovered in the back room having spilled gun powder everywhere…they light the gun powder on accident and run! This scene is very comical and feels incredibly cartoony. With everyone running around in circles to avoid the trail of lighted gun powder.

Jim, Gonzo, and Rizzo somehow manage to make it out of the building before it blows! Jim pulls out the map and they decide that they are going to try to find someone to take them to the island. But wait! What about Mrs. Bluveridge?!

Mrs. Bluveridge breaks out of the tavern by kicking her way through a downstairs window carrying several Muppet pirates! “I’ll be fine boys! Run for it!” She then yells at the Muppet’s she’s been pummeling: “Who’s gonna clean all this up?”

We suspect that the Pirates that messed up Mrs. Bluveridge’s tavern are definitely going to have a hand in cleaning up the mess and rebuilding! We potatoes love this for Mrs. Bluveridge!

The boys run and we fade to black. The next morning, Jim, Gonzo, and Rizzo are travelling through an unidentified sea side port looking for someone willing to fund this crazy adventure. Jim finds a ship building company called “Trelawney and Son’s Master Ship Builders”.

They knock on the door, and an older man opens it. He informs them that the owner of the business is not there, but his son is!

They go inside to talk to the son who is none other than Fozzie Bear playing Young Trewlaney, (Frank Oz). He examines the map and identifies it as authentic…because the little man that lives in finger, Mr. Bimbo, told him so.

It is so silly, but weirdly endearing!

Jim tells Trewlaney (Fozzie) that he needs a ship to go on a voyage to seek out the treasure! Trewlaney, being his lovable idiot self takes a moment to understand what it is they want from him. Once Trewlaney hears that pirates are involved he loves the idea and he decides to provide a ship and finance the trip!

Cut to the next day! The boys are cleaned up, and excitedly waiting at the docks for Fozzie. Fozzie shows up, and points them to the right boat, The Hispaniola. Thrilled, they board and set to exploring the ship!

They find themselves in the kitchen area…with the cook singing a little sea shanty. The cook turns around and teases them. With a boisterous laugh, he then invites them to help themselves to some food in the galley which, of course, Rizzo is all too eager to do.

The cook introduces himself to Jim, “Long John Silver! At your service!” (Tim Curry). Giving Jim a charismatic grin he says in a hushed tone, “Long John to his friends. A friend you can trust is worth his weight in gold.”

Long John Silver is our favorite character throughout the whole film! Tim Curry definitely steals the show a bit. His charisma, amazing laugh, and singing talent could not be more perfect for the role and we are here for it…and we love it!

Long John introduces Jim to his pet lobster named Bad Polly (Kevin Clash) or simply Polly Lobster. Long John loves teasing the new cabin boys, Jim, Gonzo, and Rizzo, and has an infectious laugh (because Tim Curry). He comes across as extremely shady but very likeable…but the most damning thing about him is the fact that he only has one leg!

Suspicious but incredibly charmed, they all go up to the main deck together to watch the captain arrive…and who is the captain you may ask? Captain Smollet, played by Kermit the Frog (Steve Whitmire)!

A little potato side dish here, but it is freaking uproarious! As part of the boarding scene, we see Rizzo who is worried that the voyage may be fruitless. To make sure they actually get something out of all this, he sets up the ship to also be a tropical cruise for other rats! He has a special boarding area for them, sets up activities etc. It is a whole thing through the rest of the movie and it is incredibly comical to see cruises made fun of in such an outlandish way!

Moving on! Now that the captain and the rest of the crew are on board, it is time to start sailing. They set off on this adventure with another great musical number. “Margaritas at the midnight buffet!” We potatoes support this message!

After the musical number has wrapped up, we get to roll call and it is one of the silliest roll calls ever. Everyone’s name is ridiculous in some fashion, and it gets sillier with each passing name! Our favorite name is definitely “Dead Tom”!

Captain Smollet is not impressed with the roll call at all. He sees the full extent of the crew…and feels that the crew is lacking enormously. He finds out that it was Long John Silver who recommended this crew…which is, of course, highly suspect!

We are going to start wrapping up here so as to give no more of this wonderful picture away! The story continues with more catchy and fun musical numbers, hilarity and more iconic Muppet actors! Jim is suspicious of Long John, but Long John is able to develop a close relationship with Jim despite that. They do eventually make it to Treasure Island but there’s mutiny afoot!

Muppet Treasure Island captures the spirit of the original story while infusing it with the trademark Muppet charm. The Muppet characters' have distinctive personalities and comedic antics that bring so much laughter and warmth to this adventurous tale. This movie is a truly delightful viewing experience for audiences of all ages!

This movie is fantastic! The only thing that may be worthy of an extra note, is they do depict an unidentified indigenous culture in a silly fashion. It could be construed as potentially harmful as they do lean on some stereotyping. But we found that the movie does such a good job of laughing at itself that it did not seem like they were laughing at the indigenous peoples.

It feels more like they are laughing at the stereotypes themselves. Despite that, it is still there so it is still worth mentioning and completely up to interpretation. To us, it didn’t seem cruel in any way and it is definitely not mean. It is silly though, and that is something to be aware of.

In short, we adore this movie! The jokes still hit! We LOVE Tim Curry! He is the best Long John Silver ever in our humble opinions. If you are someone that enjoys the Muppet’s, and wholesome, sweet, hysterical, entertaining, fun-filled adventure movies than this is one you cannot miss!

We give this movie 5 bottles of Rum out of 5!

The Muppet Treasure Island Drinking Game

Take a sip anytime:

1.     There's a musical number

2.     Anyone mentions "Flint"

3.     Anyone says "Rum" 

4.     Anyone says "Jim" or "Hawkins"

5.     Anyone mentions the Map

6.     Anyone says "Treasure"

7.     Anyone says "Pirates"

8.     Rizzo talks about food

9.     Trewlaney (Fozzie) is an idiot

10.  Trewlaney (Fozzie) mentions Mr. Bimbo

11.  Tim Curry laughs

12.  Anyone says "Long John" or "Long John Silver"

13.  Mr Arrow says "Sir"

14.  Anyone says "Captain"

15.  Anyone says "Dead Tom"

16.  Miss Piggy says "Smolly"

What did you think?? Did you like the movie? Did you hate it!? Do you have suggestions for films we should consider?! Let us know here in the comments and always remember to be safe and drink responsibly!