Fall is now FULLY upon us and every time we think of fall, we think of one of our favorite shows that we re-watch every single fall! It has been reviewed many times, but we are hoping that we can offer a little bit of a different perspective on the wonderful show, “Gilmore Girls”.

If you have not seen Gilmore Girls we would truly be shocked! This show is a little bit of an oldie but so amazingly good! We here consider this show a MUST BINGE. It is so witty, clever, and truly hilarious. We love this quirky, bright, and beautifully written dramedy and we think you will too!

It is a wonderful, long running show, and they have even done a revival! We are not going to cover the revival here at this time especially since we consider the original to be more true to the characters. But we may do that another time! A drinking game would really suit the revival!

Some trigger warnings before we get into it! "Gilmore Girls" explores complex themes such as single parenthood, romantic relationships, mental health, socioeconomic disparities, grief, and toxic family dynamics. While handled with humor and empathy, these themes might be sensitive for some so it is important to be aware.

We are going to do our best here to cover the essence of the show, but the show is 7 seasons long so please keep that in mind. We will also do everything we can to not give too many spoilers in this review but there is likely to be some so please take that into consideration and read cautiously.

The show revolves around a single mother Lorelai Gilmore, (Lauren Graham) raising her daughter Rory Gilmore, (Alexis Bledel). Lorelai gave birth to Rory when she was a teenager. Lorelai and Rory have a very close relationship that is rather codependent and enmeshed which is a cause for concern, but we will get into that a bit later!

Lorelai works as a manager at the local Inn with dreams of one day opening her own Inn. Rory is a teenager with dreams of Ivy League University and journalism. The story follows both of them as they get through the struggle that is life, and try to achieve their dreams.

The story begins with Rory getting accepted into a new, more prestigious high school! But…private school is expensive and Lorelai struggles to finance this.

This leaves Lorelai in a bit of a pickle as she does not have the funds and must turn to her wealthy, estranged parents, Emily Gilmore (Kelly Bishop) and Richard Gilmore (Edward Herrmann), for assistance.

Lorelai’s parents use this as a way to manipulate Lorelai and Rory throughout the first few seasons of the show so that they may have more involvement in both Lorelai and Rory’s lives.

The grandparents become main fixtures in the story and the ups and downs of their relationship with Lorelai and Rory becomes a big source of conflict and catharsis throughout the series.

Miscommunication, and various forms of emotional, and mental abuse abound as in many toxic family systems. Emily and Richard Gilmore, often exhibit highly problematic behaviors throughout the series.

Their relationship with Lorelai is filled with emotional manipulation, control, and unrealistic expectations. They frequently try to impose their own ideals and values on Lorelai and Rory, this leads to clashes and strained interactions.

Emily, in particular, is highly manipulative, intrusive, and egotistical, attempting to control Lorelai's life choices. Richard, while less overtly manipulative, enables Emily’s bad behavior, reinforcing their united front against Lorelai. These dynamics create a lot of tension within the family and contribute to the overall complexity of the show.

However, it is also colored with a lot of compassion, humor and empathy! You may find yourself rooting for the characters even when you are triggered, angry or frustrated by them.

Romance is another big fixture within this wonderful, and heartfelt series! As we follow both characters through their own coming of age stories as well as their various relationships, and relationship issues.

Everyone who loves this show has an opinion on who they think is the best relationship for both characters. We potatoes are Luke and Jess fans!

As great as the main characters are, a big part of what makes the show so wonderful, engaging and all around amusing are all of the other characters that are in the Gilmore Girl’s lives! So many quirky, funny, eccentric and brilliant characters live in the same quaint little town of Stars Hollow.

These side characters are so entertaining and fun that they really do not even feel like side characters! You will love them and laugh with them just as much as you laugh with the witty and hilarious Lorelai and Rory Gilmore.

Our personal favorites include, Luke, Kirk, Sookie, Paris, Jackson, Emily, Richard, and Jess but this is just to name a few! There are too many delightfully silly and witty characters in this show to list all of them!

We love this show, but we do have some qualms. Not many! But a few… there is no real diversity within the series. We would have loved to see more diverse people in the show! There is also a lot of entitlement in the show which can be frustrating and the show seems to unintentionally glorify codependency and enmeshment without seeming to fully understand that this is not a good thing?

This is a source of frustration for us potatoes as we have experienced both of these things ourselves and feel strongly that codependency and enmeshment are not things to be glorified! SO we are going to dig into that a bit because we feel it needs to be talked about more! But what is codependency and enmeshment? We often hear the term codependency and we tend to think of it in terms of romantic relationships…so, how does “Gilmore Girls” showcase this?

We do want to be clear that we are not mental health professionals, and if you need more information please contact a mental health professional, or seek out mental health professionals online or on YouTube. But! We do have a lot of experience with these things, we are both in therapy and we have also educated ourselves extensively on it. Moving forward!

What does it all mean? We will put it as succinctly as we can here, codependency refers to a relationship where one person's self-esteem and self-worth are excessively dependent on another person's approval, leading to a lack of boundaries and sense of identity. Enmeshment, occurs when emotional boundaries between individuals are blurred, leading to over involvement and a sense of entitlement to each other's lives. The results often being, low self-esteem, anxiety, and a lack of identity, making it hard to have a healthy relationship with yourself as well as others.

In "Gilmore Girls," this dynamic can be seen with Lorelai's relationship with her parents, Emily and Richard. Her parents' constant interference and entitlement showcases the enmeshed nature of their relationship. Lorelai, in turn, struggles to assert her independence due to this upbringing! She does put forth a solid effort, but she continually gets dragged back in. She grapples with feelings of obligation and guilt, often torn between her desire for autonomy and her need to maintain a connection with her parents.

The show also delves into how these things are often passed down to the next generation, as seen in Lorelai's relationship with Rory! Their codependency is reflected in their emotional reliance on each other for validation, and identity. Lorelai has a relationship with Rory that often blurs the lines between parent and friend. They confide in each other about nearly every aspect of their lives, creating a strong emotional dependence.

Lorelai sees Rory as her best friend and often turns to her for companionship and advice, treating her more like a peer than her child! Their emotional experiences and decisions are often intertwined, leading to a lack of autonomy. Their close bond, while fostering intimacy, blurs boundaries, and erodes individual identity, thus hindering their individual growth and decision-making skills. This enmeshment becomes more evident as Rory grows older and faces challenges in her personal and romantic life, with Lorelai often becoming overly involved in Rory’s business!

Lorelai seems to struggle with respecting Rory. This seems to be a theme with toxic family systems that rely on codependency and enmeshment. She struggles with Rory’s right to make choices that Lorelai does not agree with. She also gets triggered when Rory likes or enjoys anything that Lorelai does not see value in or does not also enjoy. (We do want to be clear that Lorelai may struggle with respecting Rory, this does not mean that she never treats Rory with respect. We just mean that she lacks consistency with this, and gets triggered often).

Lorelai sees value in education, reading, etc. so she is supportive and encouraging in that regard. Which is just fine! This is great! We potatoes also love and encourage education, reading and intellectual pursuits! But…she often feels threatened if Rory makes choices, or enjoys anything that does not involve Lorelai or that Lorelai herself does not explicitly enjoy. Lorelai feels entitled to being overly involved in her daughter’s life and (if she can help it) does not allow Rory to make her own choices and mistakes. Thereby stunting Rory’s growth, and encouraging dependency.

“Gilmore Girls” offers a glimpse into the complexities of codependency and enmeshment, and while we potatoes like it…the show places Lorelai’s and Rory’s relationship on a pedestal that, we do not feel, it truly does not belong on. But! We do greatly appreciate that it emphasizes the struggles we can face in breaking free from these destructive patterns even as adults! We see this clearly with Lorelai and Rory trying to grow and individuate but often struggling to do so.

We potatoes do want to be extremely clear that parents can absolutely have loving, friendly, warm, supportive, all the good things, relationships with their children without being codependent and enmeshed. It is completely possible, and absolutely lovely! This is not the case for many, but if this is the case for you we love this for you!

The series does an excellent job of showcasing and touching on how toxic family systems can have lasting effects. It shows some real struggle and the show does it with so much panache and humor! We wish the show was more critical of Lorelai’s and Rory’s relationship because while it is sweet, we personally do not feel that it is healthy for either of them…but we still have to tip our hats to the show! It is such a fun, hilarious and overall incredibly endearing ride!

We love this show! It is generally heartwarming, and we can’t rave about the writing enough! The exceptional writing truly sets Gilmore Girls apart. The dialogue is razor-sharp, laden with so much humor and charm, ensuring every episode is incredibly entertaining. The show's pace, coupled with brilliant acting and well-developed characters, makes it an absolute treasure!

Whenever we re-watch this show, we notice a joke or two that we didn’t catch during our previous watch through! We potatoes adore this show, and highly recommend it!

So, as the leaves turn and the air becomes crisper, grab your favorite hot beverage, snuggle up, and embark on a journey with Gilmore Girls! It's not just a show; it's an autumnal escape into the heartwarming embrace of small-town charm and delightful characters. If you are someone that enjoys laughter, emotional rollercoasters, excellent acting, and superb writing than you will love this show!

We give this show 4 out of 5 Martini’s!

Gilmore Girl’s Drinking Game:

Take a sip anytime:

1.     Lorelai says something witty, funny, or snarky

2.     Lorelai or Rory mention/drink coffee

3.     Lorelai complains about Friday night dinner

4.     Lorelai and Rory banter or bicker

5.     Every time Rory and Lorelai eat

6.     Emily says a backhanded or snarky comment

7.     Emily mentions the D.A.R.

8.     Richard blatantly ignores a heated situation

9.     Jackson and Suki argue

10.  Suki is clumsy

11.  Paris is intense

12.  Michele complains

13.  Babette says "sugah"

14.  Miss Patty is inappropriate or creepy

15.  Kirk does or says something weird

16.  Kirk has a new job  

17.  Luke gets angry or frustrated

18.  Taylor mentions town bylaws

19.  Lane tries to hide something from her mom

20.  Anyone gossips

21.  Stars Hollow has a celebration

22.  Pop culture references

23.  The theme song plays

24.  "Lalalalala" or "badapababada"

What did you think?? Did you like the Show? Did you hate it!? What do you think about the relationships in the show?? Do you have suggestions for films we should consider?! Let us know here in the comments and always remember to be safe and drink responsibly!