Tis the season of Love! We do not consider ourselves genre snobs at all and we thoroughly enjoy a good Rom com or straight romance. As it is the month of love, we will be watching and reviewing some of our favorite romantic movies! We are starting this month with a long time favorite of ours called “Dorfman in Love”.

This movie is wonderful, it does not just explore what real love is, but it also discusses self-love and personal growth which we potatoes are all for! This film does deal with some toxic family dynamics, cheating, other toxic behaviors and some insensitive jokes. This may be triggering for some but we also want to say that for the most part this film is genuinely funny, and it touches on these topics with a lot of humanity, but we still felt it was important to point out.

We will do everything we can to not give too many spoilers in this review but there are likely to be some, so please take that into consideration and read cautiously.

The film starts with some sunny shots of L.A. with a cute and chipper song playing in the background.

We see our main character Deborah Dorfman (Sara Rue), collecting the newspaper in her pajamas. Yawning, she picks a wedgie on her way back into her home which is such a subtle detail but all too real and funny.

Inside the home, we meet her Dad (Elliot Gould), who is sitting at the kitchen table watching an infomercial. Deborah sits at the table with him after having served them both some portions of oatmeal. Dad is wearing all black, and looking aggrieved.

“I have no appetite” he says pushing the bowl away from him. Deborah gently urges him to eat his breakfast, “Mom would want you to eat.”

Grudgingly he takes a single bite. Deborah and him exchange some teasing banter, and briefly discuss mom, who passed away a year prior, as well as some other topics.

We learn here that this is not Deborah’s house, but her Dad’s and she is staying with him because her mom asked her to “stay with him and take care of him.” We potatoes feel that this was a very unfair thing for her mother to ask of her.

While it is always important to care for and support someone who is grieving, it should not come at the cost of being able to live your own life. Caretaking can be such a great quality in a person…until it is taken advantage of, which is done far too often.

We feel that her mom took advantage of her daughter a little bit here, and her father is doing so as well.

Her father even goes so far as to say that he should live with Deborah’s brother! “He treats me like a king!” or so her Dad claims anyway.

We find this to be rather rude of her dad. She is the one who is there taking care of him. If her brother would be so much better, then do that! But we digress!

Deborah responds to his comment with some well-earned snark, but apologizes quickly.

Her Dad goes back to watching his infomercials and Deborah, a bit exasperated and clearly weary, leaves the room to get ready for her day.

We cut to her getting ready in the bathroom, make up, hair, etc. This is where one of our favorite moments in the film occurs. She is giving herself a long look in the mirror after finishing her routine and we can see the vulnerability, grief, insecurity and weariness deep in her eyes. She then gives herself a weak smile that she forces to grow bigger and gets on with her day!

It is so sad and so deeply true that society as well as previous generations push this rhetoric of toxic positivity. “Push it down!”, “Don’t deal with it!”, “You have to get through your day!” While this may be true to an extent and holds a small amount of value, for the most part, it is a load of bullshit.

Sit in it. Process it. Feel it. The only way out is through.

We also need to point out that while her Dad is grieving…so is she. She lost her mother and it is clear to us that she has not been given the time she needs to grieve because she is so busy caring for her Dad.

Again though, we digress!

From her forced smile in the mirror, we cut to her listening to a spicy romance audiobook in her car on her way to work. She is a closet romantic and we are here for it!

We get to her work, which is an accounting firm owned and run by her older brother Daniel (Jonathan Chase). Daniel asks her if all of the numbers are done, and talks about needing to leave early to “schmooze” clients.

It is clear, extremely quickly, who actually works there...and it is not Daniel. Deborah asks about the raise that they had previously discussed…Daniel bypasses the topic, claiming that he is doing her one better by getting her a new laptop.

Deborah quietly accepts his nonsense, with a brief look at a photograph of her and her mom, she does her best to get back to work.

From here we cut to a luncheon being served in Daniel’s backyard by Daniel’s wife Leanne (Keri Lynn Pratt). Leanne tries to appear supportive, while talking over Deborah, not allowing Deborah to talk even a little bit, about her mom…all while pushing Deborah to be happy! How can Deborah be happy you may ask? Well Leanne has the answer: She needs a man!

Uuuuuugh! It is a truly cringe scene because it is so familiar! Haven’t we all been around someone like this? Leanne means well, but she gives poor advice, assumes everyone wants the same lifestyle as her, and is a bad listener.

Lunch is uncomfortable to say the least. Deborah has no interest in the man that Leanne invited and we cannot blame her…as he is insufferable.

From the lunch, we cut back to Deborah at work and a man she appears to know pops into her office. She quickly takes her hair down, and looks eager to please as Jay takes a seat.

Jay is a childhood friend of her brothers that she has a rather large crush on. They briefly discuss her brother, Jay’s work as a reporter, how Deborah has been Jay’s unpaid therapist for years, and the most important part of the conversation: Jay’s new loft downtown!

Jay offers to take her to dinner as a thank you for all of her therapy and emotional support while he is away on the job. Deborah is so enamored with Jay, that she does not see that he is very blatantly taking advantage of her...as everyone in her life seems to do.

Deborah is excited! She tries on several outfits before leaving quickly to get to the L.A. metro. After disembarking the metro, she nervously walks the rest of the way to the agreed upon restaurant only to find Jay playing pool with a couple of extremely beautiful women that he invited!

This is incredibly rude, as the implication was that he owed her dinner…just her. The whole thing is so weird. Like he is trying to keep her strung along…

Anyway, he gets a call confirming that he has a new assignment! Deborah is happy for him and they high five!

But wait…what about his new place? There are boxes everywhere! Oh and he can’t leave Elmer, his cat, all alone in his new place!

Deborah quickly offers to stay at his place and watch his cat much to Jay’s “surprise.”

Dad is then safely ensconced in Daniel’s house much to everyone’s displeasure, while Deborah packs her bags and goes to Jay’s new loft to fix the whole place up for him while he is away and to watch Jay’s cat for him.

Deborah gets to work on Jay’s loft quickly. She only has 6 days to get everything unpacked, decorated, and painted!

After having Dad in his house for a single day…Daniel is seeing how difficult it is to take care of him…and basically does not want to. He attempts to guilt Deborah into taking Dad back, but Deborah feels strongly about staying and helping Jay.

It is the first time in the film that we really see Deborah say “no” and stand up for herself a little bit…admittedly, it is because “Jay needs me.” But still! It is not easy saying no when you are a chronic caretaker and people-pleaser.

Daniel is pissy and hangs up the phone on Deborah but she lets it go. She gets back to the loft with grocery bags in hand. Exhausted from a long day, she is struggling with the mailbox where she meets Cookie (Haaz Sleiman).

Cookie is an artist who also lives in the building, we can tell that he finds Deborah amusing and cute as she goes on a light rant about junk mail.

During this exchange we have one of our favorite lines in the movie, Deborah introduces herself as Deb to Cookie, and Cookie responds with, “No, no, no Deb. Deb is cute, sweet, people-pleaser. You’re a Deborah.”

While Deborah is cute, sweet, and a big people-pleaser. Also, we do not love anyone telling someone else who they are. We like that he makes it clear quickly that he sees her, and that he wants more for her.

He tells her his loft number, in case she needs anything and welcomes her to the building.

We are going to leave it here to not spoil anything and because this post is becoming exceptionally long!

The movie continues as we see Deborah fix up the loft, learning about herself in the process, getting some time to really focus on herself, at least for a little bit, and grow as a person.

She learns to be bolder, to say no, and treat herself with more compassion and kindness. Cookie is a great influence on her, encouraging her to be herself and to stop apologizing for who she is. We love Cookie so much. He is a favorite. He is such an excellent example of masculinity without toxicity and what it looks like to have a healthy relationship with one’s self.

He is very relaxed, self-assured and independent. He encourages Deborah but not in a forceful way at all. He is gentle and kind. We would like to add that he is not without flaws! He has flaws, and he has experiences that have helped to shape some of his behavior.

Perfection is an unrealistic expectation and takes the humanity out of characters, so we are not upset by Cookie’s flaws, and we are happy to see him do some growing as well.

This film is such a sweet, hilarious, and heartwarming movie to watch. It is mostly about Deborah learning to love and accept herself more than it is a film about finding love with another.

We love watching Deborah’s journey, but we also love seeing all of the other characters journey’s as well. Daniel gets some much needed exposure as the spoiled asshole that he is, Dad tries seeing Deborah for who she actually is and not his idea of her, Cookie learns about himself, and Deborah finally sees Jay clearly.

Jay and Daniel pretty much stay the same…but people like that often do. As we say in our household all the time: “you can’t change other people, the only person you can change is yourself.”

It is pretty clear that we adore this movie. Is it original? We felt that parts of it were, but overall no. Is it predictable? Yes. Is it heartwarming, entertaining, and cute? YES.

If you like movies about self-love and personal growth with exceptionally human acting and writing then this is a must see for you!

We give this movie…5 glasses of red wine out of five!

Dorfman in Love Drinking Game

Take a sip anytime:

1.     Dad whines/complains

2.     Daniel whines/whimpers/begs

3.     Deborah prostrates herself

4.     Deborah stands up for herself

5.     Cookie flirts with Deborah

6.     Daniel and Leann dress in costumes

7.     Daniel is a creep

8.     Daniel says "Rock" or "Roll"

9.     Deborah listens to a saucy audio book

10.  Dad watches TV or infomercials

11.  Dad mentions mother

12.  Deborah is funny or cracks a joke

13.  Someone takes advantage of Deborah

14.  Someone insults Deborah

15.  Deborah says sorry

16.  Daniel lies

What did you think?? Did you like the movie? Did you hate it!? Do you have suggestions for films we should consider?! Let us know here in the comments and always remember to be safe and drink responsibly!